


A Clean Sweep

by VampireNaomi



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Anal Sex, Angst and Humor, Blow Jobs, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-21
Updated: 2013-07-21
Packaged: 2017-12-20 22:10:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/892470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampireNaomi/pseuds/VampireNaomi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lovino Vargas isn't happy with his life, so he decides to hire a kinky maid prostitute to let out some steam. Unfortunately, there's a mix-up with the phone number and he ends up calling Gilbert Beilschmidt, a legit one-man cleaning service. Kink meme de-anon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fanfic I originally wrote on the Hetalia kink meme.

No, dammit. No. Why had this stupid e-mail been sent to him? Didn't that fucker know that complaints like these went to customer service, not to accounting? Lovino's job was already stressful enough. On top of everything else, he didn't need to deal with idiots who were too dumb to read the instructions or use common sense.

With restraint that he considered worthy of canonisation, he forwarded the e-mail to the correct department. Goddammit, it was times like this that he loathed his life even more than usual. He hadn't achieved anything he considered valuable. He was headed towards disaster and unhappiness, and he had no idea how to change the course.

All his life, he had wanted only one thing – to buy a farm and make his living by growing wine or vegetables or oranges. His family was already in the winemaking business and owned a small brewery that had been with them for centuries, so it would have been a natural way to keep the tradition alive and expand a little.

However, there was another thing that had stayed the same in his family for generations. Namely, their inability to handle money. They had been in debt even back when his grandfather had been little and had stayed in business largely because they were so well-liked in their community and because they always managed to pay somehow, even if they at that point had already acquired new debts. But times were changing, and their loans were no longer handled by the local banker who had grown up with his grandfather. Their village didn't even have a bank anymore, and the faceless executives in the city didn't care about anything but numbers and deadlines.

And so Lovino had shelved his dreams of digging his hands into soil and napping in the shade of his orange trees. He had swallowed his distaste for figures and papers and got himself a degree in accountancy – and paid for it with a loan, as was the proud family tradition. There was no work for him in the village, so he had moved to Naples and drifted from one shitty, underpaid part-time job to another until he had finally had enough. He hadn't given up so much just so that he could waste his life and barely be able to afford rent and food.

That realisation had led to what Lovino considered the greatest sacrifice of his life. With lots of praying, swearing and gnashing of teeth, he had managed to land an internship in a large electronics company in Frankfurt. A few years later, he was still on that path, though now as a full-time employee.

He hated Germany. He hated the food, he hated the people, he hated the weather, he hated the language, he hated the architecture, he hated the crap on TV, and he especially hated the fact that he couldn't see any way out of the situation. There was no future for him in Italy, but suffering on this deepest level of hell was the only way he could contribute to paying off the family debt before the bank came and took away their house and land.

And that was why he gritted his teeth until his jaw hurt, kept his mouth shut and did his work as best as he could. It was an international company, so it didn't matter that his German was only passable. Not that he even wanted to become fluent in a language that sounded like a cat coughing up a furball.

With a sigh, Lovino turned his attention back to the messages that he was supposed to be reading. He could already feel a pounding headache forming behind his eyes, and the day had barely started. He'd consider it a miracle if he was still alive by the end of it.

There was one additional problem in his life that he had been doing his best to ignore. He hadn't got laid ever since he had arrived in the damn country. He was pretty sure he'd have an allergic reaction if he ever touched a German dick, and the women weren't much more appealing, so he had kept himself satisfied with his hands and a few toys that he almost hadn't had the nerve to order. But it wasn't working anymore, and he could feel himself grow crankier and crankier every day.

He needed sex. Soon. And he needed it in a way that wouldn't require him to get to know the other person since he had no interest in a relationship with anyone who couldn't tell _pecorino_ apart from _ricotta._ And the solution was obvious – he'd just hire a prostitute to take care of his needs. Preferably a man because spending time with women was something he associated with fun. If he only wanted sex, it had to be a man.

It had taken him two weeks of internal debating and alternating between feeling excited and disgusted at himself before he had made this decision. He hadn't bought sex before, so he wasn't even sure how to go about it, except that he'd rather die than go to a brothel.

That left him with the Internet. Lovino took a careful glance around the office. He knew it was crazy to even think about browsing such sites at work, but he just didn't have the energy to continue with the e-mails. He deserved a break. The promise of finally getting some stress relief would motivate him to work harder. This was totally justified. His workspace was in a corner, so nobody would see what he was doing.

He began to look for male prostitutes in Frankfurt, but at first the only results he got were news articles and interviews. After a while, he found his way to a fetish site with links to more specific pages. It was then that he realised how many choices he had – if he wanted more than just regular sex, he could get it. Bondage, cross-dressing, spanking, golden showers, it was all there. He didn't even know what all the options meant!

Finally, something caught his eye. There was a guy who advertised a maid roleplay scenario. Roleplay wasn't really Lovino's thing – he'd never done anything like that before – but the thought of pushing someone around and making him do chores all over his messy apartment before they had sex was arousing. God, it would be so nice to pretend he had control over something in his life.

He took out his phone and started to add the man's contact information to his address book. With a snort, he put “cleaning service” as the name, just in case anyone would ever go poking around his phone.

“Hey, Lovino!”

Lovino let out a surprised yelp, and the phone slipped from his hands and fell to the floor. He grabbed the nearest binder on his desk and shoved it against the computer screen in an attempt to hide the obscene display on it.

The person who had surprised him was Antonio, one of the few people in Germany that Lovino considered a friend, and that was largely because he wasn't German. It was thanks to him that Lovino had got his internship at the company those years before. They had got to know each other in Naples when Antonio had been an exchange student at Lovino's university. He had graduated earlier, and once he had heard of Lovino's predicament, he had recommended him to the head of his department.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Lovino blurted out.

“Just came to say hello. You've been staring at your computer so intently for the past half an hour that I figured you need a break. What are you doing?”

“Nothing! Go away!”

“But I'm sure you were looking at some web page. I saw a man in a frilly dress.” Antonio frowned as he thought it over. His face lightened up in understanding, making Lovino's life flash before his eyes. 

“Oh! I get it!” Antonio blurted out.

“So? It's... It's none of your fucking business! I swear, if you tell anyone –”

Antonio laughed and patted Lovino's shoulder. “You don't have to be embarrassed! Everybody uses those services sometimes. Especially if you live alone because it can be hard to get everything done by yourself. But listen, I could really recommend –”

“No, don't say a thing!”

“But he's really good!”

“I don't care! And whoops, look at the time! Lunch break!” Lovino pushed the button on his computer to turn it off and hurried away from his desk and towards the elevator.

“But it's only nine o'clock!”

“I'm taking it early, bastard! I'm hungry!”

In hindsight, there were probably better ways he could have dealt with the situation, but Lovino's brain had fried the moment he had realised that Antonio had been about to recommend a prostitute to him. It was embarrassing, like getting kinky sex tips from a relative – and his grandfather being the way he was, Lovino had more than enough experience with that. 

He had no idea how he could face Antonio again when he came back. He probably thought he was a sick pervert. And maybe he was. God, maid roleplay? What had he been thinking? It was bad enough he was considering paying for sex in the first place; there was no need to make it so dirty as well.

When Lovino returned to the office some half an hour later, Antonio was back in front of his own desk. He lifted a hand in greeting and then returned to his work, but Lovino considered it only a momentary relief. Antonio never knew when to let an uncomfortable matter drop.

His phone was on his desk, so he figured Antonio had picked it up from the floor. He tried to avoid the other's glance as he turned his computer back on and tried to resume his work, but his eyes kept drifting over to Antonio. How was he supposed to focus if he didn't first find out if the other was bothered by his discovery?

To Lovino's dismay, Antonio smiled at him whenever their eyes met. One time he even gave him a thumbs-up and an encouraging grin and then made a gesture as if he was using his phone. Fuck it. The idiot would no doubt keep asking when Lovino had called the prostitute and would want to know how it went.

It was all because of this shitty country, Lovino decided. If he didn't have to live and work in Germany, he wouldn't be so desperate for a fuck, and then he wouldn't have to resort to such extreme measures and embarrass himself in front of one of his only friends. Fuck Germany.

When he finally made it home, he spent a long time staring at his phone and wondering if he had the guts to go through with it. Then he decided that he had already suffered so much that he might just as well reap the rewards.

***

Life hadn't been very good to Gilbert Beilschmidt during the past year. He had lost his job as a media assistant and hadn't been able to find another, so he'd been forced to move out of his apartment and start bunking on his brother's couch. He had spent months trying to find another job and had even flipped burgers and delivered leaflets for a while, just to kill some time and to be able to pay his share of the bills. After seven months of ignored applications and barely any interviews, he had decided that his lack of success was clearly a sign that he was meant for better things.

And those better things involved starting up his own cleaning business. He already did most of the cleaning at Ludwig's apartment when the other was at work, so he had got a lot of practice. It wasn't what he had wanted to do with his life, but it was relaxing work that always left him feeling accomplished. And he figured that if he just kept doing it, his business would eventually grow until he'd just be the manager and lead his troops of elite cleaners as they took over the sanitation business.

He had used the remains of his last three paychecks from McDonalds and borrowed some money from Ludwig to be able to afford some high quality supplies and an old van he needed to transport everything around the city. He was sure this was going to be his lucky break, the way to turn his life around. 

The only element that was still missing from his success story was customers. He had asked his friends and family to recommend him to people they knew, but so far the response hadn't been very enthusiastic. He had had some jobs, but if things didn't pick up soon, he'd never make enough money to be able to move out and let Ludwig have his living room back.

At the moment, he was making mashed potatoes in the kitchen. He liked to cook for Ludwig since it made him feel more like a productive member of the household and less like a leech. He also wanted to make sure his kid brother didn't forget to eat since he was always so busy with work.

His process was interrupted when his work phone started ringing. He wiped his hands on a towel and answered.

“Gilbert's Awesome Cleaning Service! How can I help you?”

“What the fuck kind of name is that?”

“What's wrong with it?”

“It's dumb!”

“It says exactly what I'm all about! If you have a problem with it, why did you call me?”

There was some unintelligible muttering from the other end of the line, and then the same voice continued, much tamer and quieter. “Right, so... I... I want to buy your services! But you had better be more competent than that lame name suggests!”

Gilbert suppressed the desire to just snap at him. He wasn't exactly in the position to get rude with potential customers, even if they deserved it. “Yeah, sure, no problem. What is it exactly that you need?”

“Well... D-dammit, isn't it obvious?”

“Yeah, but I need some details to –”

“Just drag your ass over here! I'm not telling you on the damn phone! Someone could be listening!”

Gilbert wondered which of his friends he had to thank for this nutcase. The guy's German was mangled to the point that he had trouble understanding him, which suggested Antonio since he had a lot of foreign co-workers. Maybe he was only acting like that because he was nervous about speaking another language on the phone.

“Right, so I guess I'll pack up all my equipment, and you decide when I get there?” he suggested.

“Yeah, whatever.”

“So, when do you want me?”

“Uh... Are you... Do you have time on Friday evening?”

“Let me check,” Gilbert said and took a moment off the phone to give the impression that he was looking at his calendar. Of course he had time on Friday. He had time all damn week, but he didn't want to make his new customer think he had just called some loser service that couldn't get work. “Yeah, how's at five? I've got a good spot free then.”

“What about later? I get off work at five, so I can't make it.”

Gilbert was a little surprised that the guy wanted to be there when he worked. Usually, his customers left a spare key with the neighbours so that he could go in and work his magic without bothering anyone. But maybe this guy was one of those pedantic types who wanted everything done to perfection. Maybe he thought Gilbert couldn't do his job without supervision or that he'd steal something.

“Seven?” he suggested, trying to keep the irritation absent from his voice.

“Yeah, that's fine. Uh... how long do you think it's going to take?”

“I don't know. Depends on how much you need me.”

“It's... pretty bad,” the guy said in a strained voice.

“Sure, okay! Let's make it very thorough, then. No problem. And hey, what was your name again?”

“I'm Lovino Vargas. And don't you dare go telling it to anyone!”

Gilbert rolled his eyes. “Don't worry, you dirty secrets are safe with me. And I'll need your address, too.”

Once all the details had been agreed on, Lovino hung up on him, reminding him that everything was confidential and that he had better not do a shitty job. Gilbert almost wanted to call back and cancel the whole thing since he hated it when people treated him like he was a worthless dumbass, but he really, really needed the money. He'd swallow his pride for now and then get back at everyone later when he was a rich cleaning mogul.

He got back to the potatoes, and after a while his irritation faded away and was replaced by delight over the fact that when Ludwig came home, he could tell him that he had found some more work.


	2. Chapter 2

Friday evening found Gilbert ringing the doorbell of a small third-floor apartment on Kronberger Straße. He was dressed in grey overalls and carrying a mop and a bag with some chemicals, brushes and rags. Since this Lovino guy had been too stubborn to say what he wanted him to clean, he had brought a little bit of everything along. His van was parked by the house and included some bigger equipment in case he needed it.

It took a while before the door was opened, and the sight that greeted him made him raise his brows. Lovino Vargas was smoking hot! He had known to expect a Mediterranean type due to the accent on the phone, but it was still a surprise to notice the tanned skin, the olive eyes and the lean body that, unfortunately, was currently covered in expensive-as-shit designer clothes. It was almost as engaging as looking into the mirror in the morning.

“Hi, you must be Mr. Vargas,” Gilbert said and stepped in. He took a look around and immediately saw why he had been called. The living room was littered with magazines, clothes, dirty dishes and other kinds of junk. He could barely see the floor. The kitchen was in a better condition, but he had the feeling he'd have to give it a good scrubbing as well. The bedroom and bathroom would probably be the same. This would take forever.

“Alright,” he said and put his bag on the floor. “Where do you want me to start?”

Lovino cleared his throat and refused to meet his eyes. “Where do you think, dumbass? The bedroom, of course!”

“Okay, sure. Anything specific you want me to do there, or will you leave the decisions to the pro?”

The blush that spread on Lovino's face was adorable, and Gilbert wished he could meet him without being his hired hand. If it wouldn't have led to him being kicked out without his money, he might have amused himself and told him he wanted to ask him out. Though if this was how Lovino dressed on a normal day, he suspected his tastes were a little beyond what Gilbert could afford at the moment.

“D-do I have to spell everything out for you? Don't you know how to do your damn job? You're the one who's doing the work here, so get to it!”

On second thought, maybe a professional relationship was all he wanted with this sourpuss. 

“Of course, sir,” Gilbert said with as much restraint as he could.

Much to his annoyance, Lovino followed him to the bedroom. He sat on the bed and kept staring at him expectantly as he began to pick up the clothes that had been thrown on the floor and were hanging on the closet doors. He'd sort them, and if there was a washing machine in the apartment, he'd get at least one load of laundry done during the evening.

“What are you doing?” Lovino asked after a while.

“I'm cleaning the bedroom, like you asked.” What the hell? Couldn't he just let him work and not ask dumb questions?

Lovino let out an impatient snort. “Figures. You're totally getting into this shit. But are you going to wear that ugly thing all the way through?”

“Yeah? Why?” Gilbert asked, glancing down at his overalls.

“Because...” Lovino made vague gestures with his hands. “I was kind of expecting something else. Something fancier.”

Sheesh, what had Antonio promised this guy? He had probably waxed poetic about his services to get someone this prissy and stuck-up to hire him. This was almost as bad as his cousin Roderich!

“Well, you're stuck with what you've got. If you don't like it, I can leave. But I'm charging you a basic fee for having to come this far.”

“Tch, I guess it doesn't matter. I didn't call you here because of what you wear.” Lovino fell on his back on the bed and crossed his hands behind his head. “Since you want to do it this way, get a move on. Work faster, bastard! And make it a good show to make up for the stupid clothes!”

“And I will charge an extra fee if you're going to verbally abuse me the whole time.”

Gilbert had meant it as a joke, so he was a little surprised when Lovino simply shrugged and said it was fine. What a weirdo, but he didn't mind the additional pay.

It took him some time to clear out the bedroom so that all the surfaces were more or less free of junk. The pile of clothes on the bed had grown impressive, but when he was about to start sorting them by colour, Lovino rolled over on his stomach and let out a sigh.

“Aren't you already done with those? Don't you have anything more important to do than play with my clothes?”

“I like to be thorough. I can't start another task if I haven't finished the previous one.”

“I bet you're just playing for time so that you can get more money out of me. You charge per hour, right? God, this had better be worth it.”

Gilbert was done with the bedroom some half an hour later. He worked as fast as he could without compromising the thoroughness and precision that he hoped people to associate with his name. When he was finished, he could hardly believe it was the same room. Everything was spotless and organized and smelled nice. Seeing the result of his work was so satisfying that he almost didn't mind the constant nagging from his employer.

“Done!” he announced in triumph. “And now to the next phase.”

Lovino immediately sat up on the bed, tore off his tie and threw it on the floor before starting to unbutton his shirt. “Fucking finally.”

“Hey, what do you think you're doing? You can't start making a mess right away! Pick up that tie! I'm doing the living room next, and I don't want to have to come back here and start all over again.”

The dumbstruck look that Lovino gave him made him think he had just accidentally used words that meant something nasty about his mother in Italian.

“The living room? You have to be shitting me!”

“Why? What would you rather have me do?”

Lovino opened his mouth like he had an answer ready, then hesitated and closed it with a snap. He shot a furious look at him, face red and brows scrunched up in frustration. Gilbert thought he looked ready to fall back on his bed and have a tantrum like a five-year-old who couldn't have what he wanted.

“I'll just get started with the living room, okay?”

Lovino swore in Italian and followed him out of the bedroom. He sat down on the couch, crossed his legs and glued his eyes to Gilbert as he worked. At first Gilbert wasn't bothered by it, but after a while, he was sure he could feel the scorching glare on his back. Whenever he turned to look, those angry eyes were on him.

Lovino hadn't fixed his shirt from earlier, so it was now half-open and displayed an appetizing view of his chest. For a moment, Gilbert entertained himself with the thought of asking him to take it all off so that it could be washed with the rest of the clothes. However, it didn't take long before his imagination began to present him with further ideas that would put a damper on his work, so he directed his thoughts towards more mundane topics, such as that it would take forever to dust every item on the bookshelf.

He was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't notice Lovino stand up and walk up to him until he felt his body press against him from behind.

“Wha –”

“Don't complain! I need that book.”

Lovino's arm reached over Gilbert's shoulder as he grabbed a book from the shelf. Then, apparently realising it wasn't the one he wanted, he put it back and went for another one. He strained on his toes to reach the shelf that was higher, and the movement made Gilbert all too aware of the hips pressing against him – no, not pressing, _grinding_ – as Lovino struggled to get the desired book. Gilbert grabbed the shelf with both of his hands so that they wouldn't wander to forbidden places.

“Is that the one?” he asked when Lovino had taken another book off the shelf.

“Yeah.” 

Even after Lovino had stepped away, the sensation of his touch lingered. Gilbert cleared his throat and tried to get back to work, but now he found it even more difficult. The hell had that been?

Lovino spent a moment reading the book, but he quickly put it aside and began to observe Gilbert once more. He kept commenting on his work, asking if he was sure he'd have any energy left after all the cleaning and told him that he'd be disgustingly sweaty and dirty if he worked too hard. At one point he said he wanted to help and began to search for something under the couch, offering Gilbert such a lewd view of his ass sticking in the air that it was difficult not to stare.

Finally, Lovino let out a frustrated groan. “This is going to take forever! I didn't call you here to waste my time. I'm going to take a shower, and when I come back, you had better be ready! If not, I'm taking the matters into my own hands.”

Ready with what, Gilbert wanted to ask, since there was no way he'd be finished with everything that fast.

Lovino took his sweet time in the shower. When he came back, he was naked save for a towel that he had wrapped around his waist. Gilbert hadn't been expecting him to face him like that, and this time he didn't bother hiding his ogling.

“God, are you still at it?” Lovino placed one hand on his hips and used the other to brush some wet hair off his forehead. He hadn't dried himself properly, so droplets of water were sliding down his skin and falling to the floor. “You've got to be the lamest idiot I've ever met. Do I have to do everything myself here?”

“Well, what the hell are you expecting? I only have two hands!”

“And hunting for dust bunnies is the best use for them?”

“What else would you like me to do?”

Lovino huffed. “The first thing you could do is to take off that hideous thing you're wearing. It's giving me a headache.”

“Huh?”

It took Gilbert's brain a moment to process these words. Was this a come-on, or was this guy just that displeased with his fashion sense? It was always a little difficult for him to tell when people were flirting with him because it didn't happen as often as it should have. He liked to think that everyone was attracted to him by default but that they were so scared of rejection when facing someone like him that they didn't want to make the first move.

“Let me take a look at what kind of guy I ordered here,” Lovino said. He took a step closer and began to pull down the zipper on the front of Gilbert's overalls. The gesture might have been seductive if it wasn't for the fact that Lovino's hands were shaking nervously. His face was red, his lips forming a tight line over his mouth.

At this point, even Gilbert couldn't entertain any doubts about what was going on. This guy wanted to get into his pants! It was like straight out of a bad porn flick, except that it was usually the handyman who started it.

“Eh...” he said while he waited for his mind and body to catch up with what was happening. He didn't resist as Lovino pulled the overalls down his shoulders and began to peel them off his arms. “Aren't we moving a little too fast?”

“You call this fast? I've been waiting for you to fuck me the moment you stepped through the door! Do you think I have all night? I was starting to think you're impotent or something.”

“Me? Never!”

“Then prove it, dammit.”

To heck with professionalism, Gilbert decided. If his client was this hot for him – and who could blame him? – the only decent thing to do was to give him what he was after. It would probably be some kind of human rights violation if he didn't let Lovino have a piece of him when he wanted it so bad. The guy was like a firecracker and so full of repressed energy that any more and the air would have been spitting sparks around him.

“Oh, you bet I will.” He was finally out of his overalls, leaving him wearing an old T-shirt and long pants. There was a snort of distaste at his attire from Lovino, but before he could voice his opinion, Gilbert grabbed his hips and pulled him against him, catching him off guard with a kiss. Lovino let out a surprised sound, and he hesitated a split second before responding to Gilbert's advances. His lips were warm and needy, sending pleasant shudders right down Gilbert's spine. He could only barely keep the disappointed noises inside him when the other withdrew momentarily, nipping at his lower lip.

“Don't forget that you'll be doing most of the work,” Lovino growled, even as he was moving down to leave a trail of kisses down Gilbert's throat. Then he stopped, as if he had realised he wasn't supposed to be doing that. “And... uh... let me know if you don't want me to do something. Like this. I don't want you to complain later that I crossed some line I shouldn't have. I mean, we obviously aren't dating or anything, so maybe you don't want me to –”

“No, no, just keep... nhh... going.” At this point, Gilbert was pretty sure there was very little Lovino could have done to him that he wouldn't like, short of cutting off his dick. The towel had fallen to the floor, and now he had a lean, naked and wet body pressed against him. He couldn't remember the last time someone had been this excited to have him, and that fact alone was perhaps the biggest turn-on about the situation.

He ran his hands up and down Lovino's sides and and back, wanting to explore his body before getting down to business. The other tensed whenever his fingers reached down to grab his ass, and Gilbert relished in the sharp gasps and eager whines it tore from his throat.

“You really want me, don't you?” he muttered and reached between them to grab the hardening length that was starting to poke him in the thigh. He didn't mind the fact that he was still fully dressed himself. When someone wanted him this badly, making them feel good and desire him even more was almost as great as the actual sex. He needed more of those groans, wanted to hear him beg and feel him rub against him like his life depended on it. It was such nice balm on his ego.

Lovino's response was an attempt to start tearing Gilbert's T-shirt off him. Gilbert had to let go of the other's member for the shirt to slip over his arms, but he went right back to it, running his thumb over the tip and fondling the balls with his other hand.

“Ah... I want more than a handjob,” Lovino groaned against his neck, even as he was arching his hips to encourage Gilbert's fingers to move faster or grab him tighter.

“You'll get way more, but after the way you've been talking to me all evening, you aren't getting it right away.” 

“I hired you! I don't have to take orders from you.”

“Any more whining, and I'm going to punish you for the state this apartment is in. I've never seen such a mess.”

The grunt he received in response almost sounded like eager agreement.

Gilbert gave Lovino a push towards the couch, sending him sprawled on it. His skin was flushed, his chest rising and falling rapidly in rhythm with his breathing. Lust had smoothed out some the angry lines on his face, but nothing had happened to the frustrated crease of his mouth.

“Well?” he demanded. “Are you going to do something?”

“You're too pushy for your own good.”

“And you talk too much without enough action!”

It was as if his words were a challenge, as if he wanted him to be rough with him. Gilbert joined Lovino on the couch, settling himself on top of his thighs. It would have been a good position for riding him had he been in the mood, but not tonight. What he wanted was to thrust into that angry body until the voice that had been insulting him all evening was calling out his name in ecstasy.

The position also prevented Lovino from moving much, which meant he couldn't do much more than writhe and curse as Gilbert resumed the stroking of his member, firm enough to make him desperate for more but so slow that he wouldn't get release from it. Gilbert wasn't usually one for teasing – his own patience tended to run out before he could make the other person frustrated – but Lovino's reactions were so earnest and defiant that they kept him entertained.

He increased the speed of his hands. Lovino's swears turned into groans as he unsuccessfully tried to lift his hips for more friction. His length was hard and warm and slick in Gilbert's fingers, and Lovino brought his hands up to his back and arched against him, pressing his face against his neck. The kisses on his skin kept being interrupted as Lovino gasped and panted for breath, and the hot air tickled the hair on his neck. When one of Lovino's hands moved down to grab him through the fabric of his pants, Gilbert had no choice but to let his own pleasure be heard.

He ignored the temptation to pull down his pants and focused on bringing Lovino closer to his climax. His hands kept pumping at the other's member until his body went rigid against his and a long moan was torn from his throat. Lovino collapsed on his back on the couch, pulling Gilbert along with his shivering body.

“Asshole,” Lovino muttered against his throat. “I said I wanted more.”

Gilbert shifted his weight so that he could slip down to the floor. He shook off his pants, now stained with Lovino's semen, and grinned at the limp man on the couch.

“You'll get more if you work for it. But first you'll get the privilege to suck me.”

“Oh, yeah?” Lovino asked with a sceptical frown. “What makes you think I will? I already got off. Who cares if we stop here?”

“Pfft, look at this!” Gilbert grabbed his cock, already somewhat hard, and lifted it up for a better view. “You really think you can live without this? You'll regret it for the rest of your life!”

Lovino snorted. “I guess that's impressive by German standards, but if you came to Italy, you'd know why I'm not blown away.”

“Bullshit! Look at yourself! You aren't exactly hung like a horse, either. And everybody knows it's how you use it that matters. If you keep complaining for much longer, I'm going to think you don't even know how to suck a cock.”

“Like you'd know the difference! I bet nobody's ever sucked your cock before! You should be the one doing it to others anyway!”

“Hey, a little gratitude, please! You just came all over my work pants, so the least you can do is return the favour! Or do I have to show you how it's done first?”

“I know how to do it!” Lovino snapped. He shot up from the couch and knelt before Gilbert, taking his length into his hands and eyeing it with suspicion.

“Yeah, it's a cock. At least tell me you've seen one before,” Gilbert said.

“I know! I'm just wondering what horrible diseases I'm going to get if I take it into my mouth. I want a condom.”

“What? I have no diseases! I get checked regularly!”

“Yeah, I guess one has to be clean in your line of work,” Lovino said with a shrug.

Gilbert let out a chortle. He had been thinking this guy was a total pain in the ass, but if he had it in him to tell such bad jokes while they were having sex, there was hope for him.

“Just suck it,” he said and grabbed Lovino's hair to guide him down to his waiting erection.

Lovino opened his mouth and took him in, not much, only enough for him to have something to use his tongue on. He was hesitant at first, like he was expecting something bad to happen, and Gilbert began to think that he really _was_ totally inexperienced. As nice as the warm, wet mouth around the tip felt, he was already considering calling it off. If this was Lovino's first time doing it, he wanted a different approach, simply because he didn't think anyone should be pushed into sucking someone's dick just because they couldn't stop running their mouth. That may or may not have been how Gilbert had been roped into his first attempt as a teenager.

But then Lovino took more of him inside, and the first real suck, followed by the underside of his tongue sliding over the glans of his member, convinced Gilbert that no fucking way was this his first time.

“Ah... hey, you think we could move a little? I think I need to... to sit down!”

Lovino made a gesture with his hand that Gilbert supposed was agreement, so he started shifting towards the couch. It was a slow process as Lovino refused to get his dick out of his mouth, and now that it was inside, Gilbert didn't want to encourage him to stop. They finally made it, and he fell on the cushions with relief, certain that his legs might not carry him for much longer.

He released a groan and dug his fingers into the couch as Lovino withdrew and then ran his tongue up and down along the entire length of his member. Gilbert's toes curled at the wet caresses, and he grunted at every lick Lovino made. He lifted his hips off the cushions whenever the other threatened to slow down too much, hoping to encourage him. Lovino's left hand pressed down against his pelvis to keep him steady while the other moved between his legs to play with his balls.

Then, Lovino withdrew.

“Now look who's a desperate mess,” he said, and it wasn't the self-satisfied tone of his voice that bothered Gilbert the most.

“No, no, don't stop!” he whined and reached forward with his hand to grab Lovino's hair, but the other swatted him away with ease.

“If you think I'm going to get you off, think again. You said you were going to fuck me, and I'm not going to wait for you get hard again. Would probably take forever anyway, and I don't have all damn evening.”

“And you think _you're_ ready for another round already?”

“Yeah.”

“We'll see about that. But really, you sure you don't want to finish here first, and then we'll have some drinks and go for another round later?”

“I don't want to drink with you.”

“But you want to be fucked by me?”

Lovino snorted and rolled his eyes. He removed his hands from Gilbert's member and stood up, so Gilbert figured he could either do what he wanted or go back to work. And with the proudly erect problem throbbing between his legs, it was obvious which option sounded better.

“Okay, then let's switch. Get into whatever position you want. You've got lube here somewhere?”

“What, you don't have any? What's that big bag for if you don't have anything useful there?”

“It's for cleaning supplies!”

“Yeah, right. But fine, check out the drawer beside my bed. There should be some.”

Gilbert hurried into the bedroom. He found a small bottle of lubricant where Lovino had said it would be. There was also a package of condoms, and he decided to take it. He often let his urges get the best of him, but he knew literally nothing about this guy, so it didn't hurt to start being careful before they went all the way.

“Here I come!” he announced as he ran back to the living room. In his absence, Lovino had climbed on the couch and was lying on it on his back.

“You took my condoms, too? I should take that out of your pay.”

“That's not fair! We're both getting to enjoy them!” Gilbert took one condom from the package and rolled it on. He unscrewed the cap on the bottle of lube and settled himself between Lovino's legs. The other was back to blushing and glaring furiously at the ceiling, and Gilbert could feel how tense his whole body was as he pushed his knees apart and lifted one of his legs on the backrest of the couch.

“You don't need to prep me. I did it myself in the shower,” Lovino said. 

That was convenient since it meant Gilbert could get straight to business. He wasn't sure how much longer he could have ignored his aching need anyway. With a few slick movements, he smeared some lube on his length to ease the way and positioned himself against Lovino's entrance. He began to push inside, holding back a groan at how good the warm tightness felt around him.

Lovino wasn't equally good at stifling his reaction, drawing in a strained gasp as he was being opened. He lifted his hips for a more comfortable angle and reached up to grab Gilbert's back for something to hold onto, his frame staying rigid until Gilbert was fully inside.

“Move, dammit,” he said, but Gilbert wanted to enjoy the feeling of being engulfed for a moment longer. He reached between them to stroke Lovino's length, wanting to make him erect again. His hand was still slick with lube, so it slid up and down with more ease than before, allowing faster movements.

“I said move,” Lovino whined. The foot that was placed on the backrest came down against Gilbert's back with force that almost hurt.

“After how good I've been to you tonight, the least you could say is please,” Gilbert said.

“Make me!”

Instead of answering, Gilbert pulled back a little and made an experimental thrust. It earned him a grunt, but he knew he hadn't hit the correct spot yet. He didn't bother changing his angle; the sourpuss could wait a bit longer for his pleasure. Now it was his turn. He retreated and pushed back in, this time with more force. When he did it again and again, Lovino lost his patience and began to lift himself up to meet his thrusts in an attempt to angle himself right for him to hit his prostate.

“You suck at this!” he growled when his efforts didn't give him satisfactory results.

Gilbert laughed, out of breath. Every movement sent jolts of pleasure through his entire body, and for a while he was sure he could melt together with the body beneath him. There was only the warm friction and the wet noises and the frustrated growling from his partner. He decided to be generous, so his next thrusts were each aimed slightly differently, and finally one resulted in a surprised moan.

The living room was soon filled with their joined panting and groans. Lovino wrapped his legs around Gilbert's back and kept raising his hips to meet his thrusts, to get him back inside faster and harder. Sometimes it worked; sometimes they messed up their rhythm and nearly fell off the couch, but Gilbert was pretty sure it would have stopped neither of them.

Lovino's hands were digging into his shoulders so hard that he'd probably have bruises the next day. That only encouraged him further as it showed just how much Lovino wanted this. A hole was a hole, and if Gilbert had just wanted something nice and tight around his dick, he would have fucked a fleshlight. But a toy wouldn't give him scratches or cuss him out and then break into a groan in the middle of a profanity, nor would it feel so warm and sticky and real.

Pleasure was rapidly pooling in his groin, and he knew he was close. He tried to hold it back for just a little longer, but there was no stopping the wave that made his body shudder as he came with a moan, collapsing on top of Lovino.

“You can't be fucking done yet! I still –”

Gilbert kissed him to make him shut up and reached below to wrap his fingers around Lovino's member. It only took a few firm strokes to make him cry out and arch his back, and then they were both nothing but a sweaty, panting mess as they waited for their hearts to slow down.

“That was fun,” Gilbert said.

“Mmh.”

“What, you disagree?”

“No, I'm just... I don't know.”

“Tired? Hehe, no wonder. I bet you haven't been worked this hard in a long time.” Gilbert straightened his back and sat up. “You should get straight into that nice, clean bed I prepared for you earlier.”

“And you?”

“I've still got plenty of work tonight, so duty calls.”

“Oh. Right. Uh... The money's on the kitchen table,” Lovino said and began to pick up his clothes. “I'll go and have another shower real quick. You can use it after me if you want. I'm sure you know the way out when you're done.”

“Yeah, okay.”

The cold shoulder he was getting now was a little of a let-down since Gilbert wouldn't have minded a shared shower and maybe some warm cuddling. But he had already got far more than he had expected out of this job, so he supposed he was in no position to complain.

Once Lovino was done and had retreated into his bedroom, Gilbert took a quick cold shower to get some more energy and put his clothes back on. He would have loved to go to bed as well and enjoy the pleasant, relaxed state of his muscles, but a true Beilschmidt never left a job half-done. He still had to finish the living room and get started on the kitchen and the bathroom or it wouldn't be fair to accept the payment.

***

When Lovino woke up, he didn't at first know where was. Then he realised that it was his own bedroom, just that it was cleaner than it had ever been since he had started renting the apartment. There was pleasant soreness below his waist as he shifted groggily under the covers, and memories of the previous evening suddenly flooded his mind.

He'd gone through with it. The prostitute had been there, and they had fucked. The beginning hadn't been what he had expected – why the hell hadn't he worn the dress he'd seen on the website? – but things had improved rapidly. It had been so satisfactory to let his frustrations out on someone who was there to take it, and the sex had been pretty damn good, too, much better than he had thought. He had had the impression that prostitutes just walked in, did the job mechanically and left, but Gilbert had been full of passion he hadn't expected from someone to whom the whole thing was an emotionless routine.

Now he also understood why Gilbert had spent such a long time getting into the role and actually cleaning his apartment. He had wanted to make sure Lovino would have a clean bed waiting for him when they were done. That was such good service that he now regretted not leaving a tip.

He forced himself out of bed so that he could make some coffee and decide what he wanted to do that day. He felt better than in ages; all the stress and bent-up frustration seemed to have left his body. However, his thoughts were cut off as soon as he stepped out of the room. 

What the hell? His apartment had changed! 

His rugs had been straightened. The bookcase in the living room was in perfect order, all the books dusted and alphabetized. There were no signs of the mess they had made on the couch. His bathroom was squeaky-clean and smelled of lemon. The trash in the kitchen had been taken out.

What the fuck? Was this included in the price? He was pretty sure he had seen no mention of it on the website.

Still dumbstruck, he sat down in the kitchen. His eyes caught the spot where he had left the money for Gilbert. It was gone, but in its place was a note written on a piece of paper.

_Call me!!! 0174/5478822 - GILBERT_

Lovino stared at the note for a moment. The number was different from the one he had called when he had first contacted Gilbert. A smug smirk took over his features, and he folded the note into two and stuck it onto his fridge with a magnet of a tomato. 

Even though they had had sex only once, he had already made it to Gilbert's special customers.


	3. Chapter 3

Gilbert couldn't stop grinning as he spread a generous layer of Nutella on his piece of bread. He broke into a hum as he bit into it and reached for the carton of orange juice on the table.

“You seem happy,” Ludwig commented, glancing at him over his newspaper.

“Yeah! Remember that job from yesterday? It was awesome!”

“Did you earn well?”

“Better than expected. I'm going to have to print him a new receipt next time I go there.”

“You think he's going to become a regular?”

Gilbert began to laugh so hard he almost choked on his bread. “Damn right he's going to become a regular! You want to know what happened? There I was, doing my job and listening with saintly patience as he chewed me out, and then all of a sudden he couldn't keep his hands off me! We had sex all over his couch, and you can bet he's going to call me back and beg for more.”

Ludwig's fingers dug into the newspaper so hard Gilbert wouldn't have been surprised to see holes in it when he let go again.

“You had sex with a client?”

“He started it!”

“That's no reason to – Gilbert, you're just starting up your business. You can't afford such unprofessional behaviour. If people find out, nobody will hire you. What if someone reports you for sexual assault?”

“Ludi, did you even hear what I said? He started it! Not me! I don't go around groping my clients, but what am I to do if they tell me they want me to fuck them?”

“You could decline and say that's not included in your services.”

“You should have been there. This guy was hot, and he was just so _into_ me! Wow! I thought he was super annoying at first, but now I know he was just grumpy that I was paying more attention to my work than him. And who wouldn't be? I'm surprised this is the first time this has happened to me. But I guess I'm going to try to get to know him a little next time so that he'll be in a better mood.”

“Well... At the very least, arrange to see him in your free time.”

When Gilbert had lost his job and then his apartment, he'd also been dumped by his boyfriend. The relationship had been falling apart for a while anyway, and the hits he'd taken had brought out the worst in him. Even he had no choice but to admit that he had been a massive dick to everyone around him, and that had been the last nail in the coffin of his longest relationship so far.

He had no regrets now, but when it had happened, he had taken it pretty harshly and built a nest on the couch in Ludwig's living room where he had drunk beer, eaten ice cream and watched daytime TV. He was way over that phase now, but he still hadn't begun to enjoy the benefits of being single.

Until now. He was pretty sure it wouldn't become anything serious with Lovino. His nagging and insults got his blood boiling in a pleasant and arousing way, but he doubted he'd have the patience to listen to them at the breakfast table or when they were selecting a new microwave oven. A few rounds of steamy sex would satisfy him, and then he'd move on.

“Wait, I haven't yet thanked Antonio for finding this guy for me,” he said and took out his phone to send him a text.

“I hope you aren't planning to tell the whole world that you slept with a client.”

“Nah, I'm not stupid. I'll just tell him I had a great time, and he won't suspect a thing.”

Ludwig folded the newspaper and placed it on the table. “I just hope you know what you're doing. This business of yours seems to be working out, and I don't want you to ruin your chances.”

“Don't worry! You'll get your money back, and I'll be moving out as soon as I can.”

“That's not it. I don't mind you here. I just want you to be fine.”

“Pftt, I've always been fine. A few tiny obstacles can't get me down! If anyone here should be worried, it's me. At least I'm getting laid, but you act like you're married to your job. When was the last time you went out with anyone? The dogs don't count.”

“Gilbert, please. Now is not the time for that. I'm too busy to think about such matters at the moment.”

“It's Saturday.”

“That doesn't mean I don't have work to do. And it'll be Monday soon. The big case –”

“I didn't say you have to start dating someone! Go out and have a dirty one-night stand.”

Ludwig made a displeased face. “That's the kind of advice people don't usually give to a younger sibling.”

“That's because I'm much better at being a big brother than most people.”

“If I listened to even half of your advice, I probably wouldn't even be alive anymore. I'm sorry, but I'll have to decline this time as well.”

Gilbert snorted into his glass of juice. “Don't come crying to me when your dick rusts and falls off due to misuse.”

He helped Ludwig clean the kitchen and put everything back in the fridge. Though they disagreed on countless things, order in the house was important to the both of them. These weekend mornings were a rare time when they were both home, and they had developed a habit of having breakfast together so that they could tell each other what had happened over the week.

Ludwig was the sensible one of them. He had gone to law school, graduated in record time and was working as an attorney in a private law office. Everything about his life was precise and followed a carefully conducted plan, sometimes to the point that Gilbert liked to joke someone had kidnapped his real brother as a baby and replaced him with a robot.

As far as he was concerned, Ludwig needed him now more than ever and he was doing him a favour by bunking on his couch. Ludwig had to have some external disturbance in his otherwise orderly life, if for no other reason then so that he could feel a healthy dose of irritation and act outside his routine every once in a while. As much as Gilbert liked order himself, he knew that surprises were necessary in life if one wanted to stay alert and strong.

He would either have to get an apartment close to Ludwig or help him find a girlfriend who'd make a mess in the living room every now and then. But for now he was focused on far more pressing matters, namely the fact that his own sex life was picking up pace. He was sure Lovino would call him. Next time, when it would be a real date, he'd dress nicely and maybe bring along a few bottles of beer or take-out or something.

Grinning from ear to ear, he began to sort out his makeshift bed on the couch and thought back to just how hot for him Lovino had been.

***

Lovino couldn't remember the last time he had been feeling this good on his way to work. Of course, in his case, good meant only a lesser state of annoyance – he was still in Germany, after all – but it was such an improvement to his usual mood that he even found himself smiling as he paid for the piece of apple tart he had stopped to buy at the bakery. Who would have thought that filling his physical needs would make such a difference, or that it had been a German who had got the job done?

He had already decided that he'd call Gilbert again some time. He didn't want to return to the state where one wrong word from someone could ruin his day and turn him into a boiling mess of anger, homesickness and stress. It wouldn't be shameful if he took pre-emptive measures and had Gilbert come by regularly, right? Hell, it was practically a requirement if he wanted to keep on living in this country and not die prematurely from a burst vein.

“Hey, Lovino!”

He turned around just as he was about to enter the building where their company had offices. Antonio was hurrying towards him, waving as he ran. His smile was so big that Lovino was surprised there was space for anything else on his face.

“What do you want?” he asked and shoved the last bit of the tart into his mouth. He dug around his pockets until he found a handkerchief to wipe his hands on.

“I just wanted to ask how it went with Gilbert. Was he good?”

“Wha – kchk kchk!”

“Whoa, are you okay? You're choking!”

Lovino spat out the crumbs that he had nearly inhaled and wiped at his mouth, trying to create some kind of coherent link between his thoughts. He had known Antonio would bring this up again, but he hadn't expected him to be so direct.

“Why the hell are you asking me something like that?” he asked once he could breathe again.

“I just want to know if you're satisfied. Gilbert's just starting out, so he doesn't have a lot of experience or customers yet. He's my friend, so I'm doing my best to recommend him to everyone I know.”

“And, uh... Have you ever hired him? You know, for yourself?”

“No, he said there's a limit to how much help he'll accept from friends. He thinks too much is the same as pity,” Antonio said with a laugh. “My grandma is a regular, though.”

“What?”

“Yeah, full service every Tuesday. She's pretty hard to satisfy, but luckily Gilbert is really thorough. But I'm sure you already noticed.”

Lovino only grunted, not trusting his voice to try to say anything. Sure, he'd known that Gilbert was sleeping with tons of different people, but somehow it hadn't really struck him until now. He recalled meeting Antonio's grandmother a couple of times, and he would have never imagined that – no, he didn't want to think about that, holy mother of fucks!

“Can we talk about something else?” he grumbled. His face was burning like someone had kicked him head-first into a bush of nettles. Fantastic. Not only did Antonio know that he had hired a prostitute, but he even knew the guy personally. What if Gilbert told him some embarrassing details, like the way he moaned when he came or something? He'd die.

“Okay, sorry. I didn't know this would make you so uncomfortable. I just brought it up because Gilbert told me he had a great time. He often grumbles to me about his customers, so I think it's nice he found someone he gets along with. He can be a little difficult.”

“That's a fucking understatement.”

Antonio laughed sheepishly. “I hope you aren't mad that I set you up with him. I saw you had saved some other service's number on your phone, and I changed it to Gilbert's to promote him.”

“Just shut it already! We're going to be late if you waste any more of our time with this. And you have no right to talk about your grandma's personal matters like that, so if you don't drop this topic right now, you're going to wish that the worst thing I do next time it's my time to bring coffee to everyone is shitting into yours.”

Lovino couldn't stay pissed off at Antonio for long, especially since his words answered some of the questions he had been asking himself over the weekend. The fact that he had changed the number explained why Gilbert hadn't been wearing the frilly dress he had been expecting. He was clearly in the roleplaying business, but it seemed he preferred the traditional handyman to the pretty maid. It had bugged him at first because he had been looking forward to humiliating and emasculating someone, but now that all the pent-up frustration was gone, he no longer needed to make someone else feel like shit to feel better about himself.

He had saved the new number Gilbert had given him and kept opening the profile on his phone all through the day. He wondered what Gilbert would say if he called him again so soon. Would he think he was a pervert? Or that his services had been so good that Lovino couldn't live without them? But if he waited too long, he might take him off the special clients list and – 

Wait, why the hell did it even matter if he took him off the list? Or what he thought of him? Just because he had bought sex once and was going to do it again didn't mean that he was some sad loser who couldn't get any without paying for it! He had nothing to be ashamed of, so he should just stop worrying that his prostitute was going to judge him.

Once he made up his mind abut that, the one thing that still kept puzzling him was if he was supposed to let Gilbert know that he was going to keep hiring him. Were they supposed to make some kind of contract? If yes, how? He couldn't just send him a message and ask him how he was doing. There couldn't be any casual communication between them. It was sex or nothing. Maybe he should ask Antonio, but it was already awkward enough that he was buying sex from his friend's friend. He didn't want Antonio in any way more involved, even if he seemed to be totally okay with Gilbert's profession.

He spent the whole day thinking about what he should do. The quality of his work was almost as bad as it had been before he had called Gilbert. It wasn't that he was desperate for more, he kept telling himself, but rather that he had gone for so long without any that now that he'd got a taste again, he didn't want to give it up right away.

What the hell, he decided. He was an adult, and it was his own damn money. He could do whatever he wanted with it. If he wanted to throw it all at prostitutes and enjoy himself, so what? His grandfather might even praise him for a change.

As soon as he was back home, he called Gilbert.

“Hey! I was wondering when you'd call me.”

“I was busy! My life doesn't revolve around you!”

“But at least it takes an occasional detour to me since you did end up calling. So, what's up?”

“Uh...” What could he say? Did Gilbert expect a real answer, or was this just some polite chitchat before they'd go over the order details? “Nothing much. Do you think you could... you know, drop by again some time?”

“Hehe, you need me to come and clean again? Did you make a mess already?”

“Shut up! You know what I want!”

“Hey, no need to get mad. I'm just teasing you. Of course I know what you want. No harm there, I want the same thing. So, when's a good time for you?”

“Friday again?” Lovino suggested. He didn't want to come off as desperate, and on Friday he wouldn't have to worry about being late to work the following morning.

“Sure! I can come over, or would you like us to go somewhere else?”

“Here is fine.” Lovino felt he needed the familiarity of his own home to be comfortable with the whole thing. If they went elsewhere, he'd feel less confident, and he absolutely should not. He was the paying customer. He made the rules, even if there was no denying the thrill of arousal when Gilbert pushed him around.

“Great! And I'll bring something to drink this time, okay?”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“Anyway, what do you do for fun? Do you like movies?”

“What? Uh, not really.”

“Then what? Come on, tell me something about yourself!”

“Why?”

“What do you mean, why? I want to get to know you a bit better. We'll have more fun.”

“If you want a list of what kind of shit I'm into, I'd rather submit that in writing.”

There was a brief moment of silence on the other end before Gilbert let out an enthusiastic “Okay!” that made Lovino think his answer must have been weird somehow. But who could blame him? Gilbert was odd and didn't fit most of the stereotypes he had about prostitutes. It was probably since he was just starting out.

Gilbert wanted to talk more, but Lovino lied that he had work to do and ended the call. He tossed his phone on the living room table and fell on his back on the couch. Gilbert would be coming on Friday. Now he had something to look forward to, as pathetic as that sounded.

He wasn't happy with his life in Germany. He missed his family and the little village where he had grown up. He missed the sense of security that came from being surrounded by people who spoke his language and whose gestures and ideas made sense. That he couldn't go back in the near future frustrated him to no end.

So far, the only thought that had stopped him from going insane had been that he would return as soon as he had earned enough to help pay all of the family's debts. Then he'd farm the land even if it brought him nothing because starving at home was better than eating sauerkraut and sausage. But that was such a distant dream that it didn't always manage to carry him through the day.

In the meantime, there was no shame in looking for a distraction in Gilbert, right? The sex would keep him relaxed and help him get through the week. That was all he wanted.

***

Once again, it was Friday evening, and Gilbert was ringing the doorbell of Lovino's apartment. He had arrived in his van because he didn't have another car, but his attire was entirely different from the previous time. No more old pants with holes in them for him! He'd grabbed his favourite T-shirt and sweater combo and was sure Lovino would love it.

“Hi! I'm here!” he announced when Lovino opened the door.

“So I see.” Lovino's eyes swept from his toes to his head and then back. “You aren't wearing that thing from last time.”

“Of course not. I only wear that when I'm – holy shit, what have you done to this place?” 

“What?”

“Everything was spotless when I left last time, and now it's like I was never here! What the hell?”

Lovino's face developed a darker shade of red, and he puffed his cheeks in anger. “Well, it's been a week, dammit!”

“A week shouldn't be enough to do this. And it's such a nice apartment. Can't you at least throw the wrappers and empty envelopes away and not let them get everywhere? It's an easy thing to do, and it helps a lot.” As he spoke, Gilbert began to pick up the trash on the floor. He just couldn't bear the sight.

“I didn't call you here so that you could lecture at me about how I take care of my apartment! If I let a bit of junk pile up, so what? I have a stressful job.”

Gilbert walked into the kitchen to throw his armful of trash into the garbage can, only to discover that it was already full. He let out a frustrated sigh and began to open the cupboards under the sink with his foot, trying to find the roll of plastic bags that had been there the previous time.

“I guess it has its good sides,” he said once he had found what he was looking for. He dropped it to the floor with his toes and kicked it towards Lovino. “Without people like you, I'd be out of work.”

Lovino grunted in response and took a bag from the roll, spreading it open so that Gilbert could dump all the trash into it. “Go ahead and tidy up if it matters that much to you,” he grumbled.

“Can I? But I'm charging for it. I only clean for free at my brother's place.”

“Do whatever you want.”

Gilbert hadn't been planning to start his date with work, but he could come up with plenty of good reasons for it. First, it had turned Lovino into a hot mess the previous time when he couldn't have him right away. Second, money. And third...

“I want to take a shower when I'm done, and you should join me.”

“And why?”

“After I'm all sweaty and dusty after making your apartment shine, the least you can do is scrub me clean. It'll be fun.”

Lovino looked at him with a thoughtful frown on his face before shrugging. “Whatever. It's fun to watch you work like a slave. But don't make it like last time. It took too long.”

“Okay, I'll do just the kitchen. But if you make a mess at such a fast rate, you should get me to clean your place at least once a week.”

“Wouldn't that be a little weird?”

“Why?”

“Because we're having sex, that's why! Don't you think it's odd that the same guy both cleans my place and then screws me?”

Gilbert shrugged. “No. That's how it usually goes.”

“But that's when people are a couple, dammit! We aren't!”

“I can multi-task. I can be both your awesome cleaner and your awesome lover.” Gilbert picked up the full garbage bag and stopped to give Lovino a peck on the lips on his way out. “You should be happy. Think of it as a two-in-one deal.”

He kept chuckling to himself all the way down the stairs and outside to the garbage bin. He had this guy wrapped around his little finger! Whatever he asked, the other did. Normally, that would have been boring, but Lovino's angry sputtering was the most fun he had had in ages. He was such a weird but entertaining person.

One thing he didn't need to do in Lovino's kitchen was the dishes. The way the pans, spoons and other utensils were stored in the cupboards was anything but logical in Gilbert's books, but everything was clean. He guessed Lovino had to like cooking if he took such good care of his things.

“There's some beer in my bag. You should put it in the fridge,” he said.

“I don't like beer.”

“Good. More for me.” Something at the back of the cupboard caught Gilbert's attention, and he dug it out. It was ceramic tomato, about the size of his fist, and it had a bright, smiling face. “Wow, what's this?”

“Just some crap my brother gave me for Christmas. I've been meaning to throw it away.”

“I think it's cute. What does it do? It's got a hole, so it's not just for decoration, right?”

“You put eggs inside, and when you tilt it, the whites come out of the mouth.”

Gilbert turned the tomato around in his hands to inspect it closer. “That sounds pretty useful. Why do you want to throw it away?”

“Look at it. It's dumb as fuck.”

“Okay, into the trash it goes.” Gilbert dropped the tomato into the trash can, not missing the way Lovino shifted in discomfort at the action. “By the time I'm done, we should have another full bag of garbage. I'll take it out before I leave, so you won't have to tolerate that thing for much longer in your kitchen.”

“Sure.”

“So, you have a brother? What's he like?”

“Annoying and dumb.”

“Older or younger than you?”

“Younger.”

“Any other siblings?”

Lovino huffed and crossed his arms on his chest. “Why do you keep asking these stupid questions?”

“I just want to know you a bit better. We already had sex, so I figure we should know a few things about each other. Like favourite colour and TV show and so on. I bet you're dying to know about my brother! Look, I've got pictures.” Gilbert took his wallet out of his pocket and showed Lovino the series of photos he kept inside. There was a picture of Ludwig as a baby, another from when he had been ten, and one that showed them together right after Ludwig had got his degree.

Lovino regarded the photos with an unimpressed frown. “Which one of you is adopted?”

“Hey! We look totally alike! The only difference is that I'm hotter.”

“Tch. I guess, but that's not saying much.”

“Come on! I'm hot! Tell me how hot I am!”

“Why should I?”

“I'll give you something nice if you do.” Gilbert threw down the rag he'd been using to scrub the sink and circled behind Lovino to grab his hips. The other's initial reaction was to press his body against his, but then he swatted Gilbert away.

“Don't touch me before you've washed your hands!”

“That can be arranged. Let's take that shower now.”

Gilbert dragged Lovino into the bathroom. He liked having sex in the shower because wet bodies were nice, and he had a thing for cramped spaces where they had no choice but to touch each other all the time.

“This is so ridiculous,” Lovino muttered, but since he wasn't putting up a fight, Gilbert was sure he'd go along with it.

“Have you done this in the shower before? And jerking off by yourself doesn't count.”

“Wh – I don't do that! I don't need to!”

Gilbert laughed and stepped closer to ruffle Lovino's hair. “The shade of your face tells otherwise. I bet you look real cute when you do it. Want to give me a show?”

“No.”

“Come on! You could try to get a bit more into this! I can't work with you if you're going to be a total sourpuss.”

“Let me undress you.”

“Huh?”

“You heard me, dumbass! Be still while I take off your clothes.”

That was a bit weird, but to heck with it. Gilbert took a step back and didn't object when Lovino reached to pull his arms out of his sweater. His hands lingered near his throat and travelled down his chest to grab the hem of his T-shirt, but Gilbert couldn't help but squirm before he reached it.

“I said still!”

“I can't help it! I'm ticklish.”

“Then you had better learn some discipline and fast. Now raise your arms.”

Gilbert followed the order, not entirely sure why he was going along with everything that Lovino said. He was pretty flexible in bed, but he didn't usually like to be pushed around by guys who hadn't earned it. And Lovino hadn't – there wasn't much confidence underneath all that griping and commands.

His shirt was thrown into the sink. Lovino didn't go straight for his belt but made his hands roam around Gilbert's bare chest and shoulders. Every touch threatened to break him into a fit of giggles, but he bit the inside of his mouth to stay in control. He was so focused on that that it took him entirely by surprise when Lovino's hands climbed up his back to his neck, then to his hair.

“I'm not a dog,” he said when the other began to stroke his scalp.

“Your hair is like barbed wire. Do you even take care of it?”

“I wash it a few times a week.” Gilbert wanted to lean against Lovino's touch when his hands found his ears, but he kept himself in check. Damn, that felt good.

“That's not taking care of it. Now that we're here, I should wash it with my shampoo and use some conditioner and anti-split ends serum on it. Not that one time is going to do much.”

“More shower sex next time?”

“Maybe if you behave now.”

“Hey, I've been still. You never said anything about talking.”

“I should just gag you.”

“No way! Nobody does that to me. That's my one rule.”

Lovino snorted and began to move his hands downwards again. The skin on Gilbert's head was tingling pleasantly from the stimulation, and he hoped it would be just as good when they skipped to more sensitive areas. 

“I should have figured you'd love to listen to your own voice that much.”

“And you love to make a big show of doing nothing. Let's move on!” The hands trailing his skin felt nice, but not nice enough, and Gilbert's impatience was getting the best of him. He grabbed Lovino's wrists and pushed his hands lower, keeping them there until the other started fiddling with his zipper.

Gilbert peeled his trousers off him, which left him standing in his boxers. He'd picked his cute good luck boxers with little birds on them. They earned him a sigh and a roll of his eyes from Lovino, but Gilbert didn't let that put a damper on his spirit, especially when Lovino began to pull the boxers down his thighs until he was able to step out of them.

“Hey, how come you're still totally dressed?” he complained. Not that he minded the fact that his body was the one getting all the attention, but he was slowly beginning to feel a little self-conscious under Lovino's glare, especially since he didn't yet know him well enough to be able to read whether he was displeased with something or whether this was a normal pre-sex expression for him.

“Because I say so, dammit.”

Gilbert searched his brain for a logical explanation. Lovino didn't struck him as one of those super dominant types who liked to order someone around like a slave. In fact, even now he was hardly acting like he was in charge. He wouldn't look him in the eyes, his face was red with embarrassment, and even though he did his best to make his words sound boastful, Gilbert could detect a slight nervous tinge behind them. 

Maybe he was acting like this because he was unsure of himself but too ashamed to show it. And the situation they were in now, Gilbert naked and Lovino fully dressed, gave the other at least the illusion of having some power over him.

“And I say it's high time you find that fire from last time. Do you need help getting your clothes off, or can I go ahead?”

“I can do it myself. Just go already.”

Gilbert pushed aside the glass door that separated the shower from the rest of the bathroom and stepped into the cubicle. It was cramped, just like he had wanted, and the shower head looked like it had a massage function. He had the feeling that this would be awesome.


	4. Chapter 4

Lovino listened to the sound of water running inside the shower cubicle and wondered why he wasn't yet in there with Gilbert. He hadn't hesitated the previous time the other had been at his place. But this time there were some details that were bugging him.

Gilbert was fond of his brother. He wore stupid boxers. He drank a brand of beer that Lovino could just about tolerate. He didn't know how to take care of his hair so that it'd be softer. These were personality traits, and now he suddenly wasn't sure how to proceed. Gilbert wasn't supposed to be a person to him; he was just a guy who dropped by for sex and then left. But it was impossible to see him like that anymore when his personality was like a truck with brakes that didn't work.

He played for time as he unbuttoned his shirt, the last piece of clothing he still had on. Gilbert was perhaps the biggest idiot he had ever met, but surprisingly enough, it wasn't a turn-off. He was so confident in himself and his abilities that it was as if no blow could scratch the surface of his ego. Lovino usually hated people who were comfortable with themselves because it was something he had always wanted, but Gilbert was so honest and genuine that it was endearing.

He pushed the glass door aside, and Gilbert immediately turned to look at him with a grin. His hair was flat against his head, and his skin had turned a shade of pink after being exposed to hot water for so long. He didn't look particularly appealing, but Lovino wasted no time getting in.

“I thought you weren't coming, but I guess you couldn't resist me any longer.”

“Tch. I only got here because it seems you aren't coming out otherwise, and it's going to show in my water bill.”

There wasn't a lot of room for two people in the cubicle, especially after Lovino had slid the door shut. It was impossible for their bodies not to touch, and Gilbert was so warm against him that Lovino couldn't help but lean closer to get more contact. He swallowed the nervousness that tried to take over and reminded himself that even if Gilbert was more of a personality than he had thought, he was still there to have sex with him and nothing else, and he was doing nobody favours by wasting their time.

“Kiss me, dammit,” he grumbled and reached to turn Gilbert's head towards him so that he could press their lips together. Lovino loved kissing, and when he had first hired Gilbert, he had wondered if he'd get to do it at all. He remembered watching a movie in which the prostitute protagonist didn't want to kiss because it was so personal. But based on the eager, firm movements of his lips and the quiet grunts that escaped his throat, Gilbert had no such limits.

Lovino recalled how much Gilbert had liked it when he had touched his ears, so he brought his hands up to mess the other's hair even further. Gilbert took in a pleased gasp and lifted his knee to brush it at Lovino's member, causing him to buck against him to get more pressure. There were so many more sensations than he was used to – the water that kept pouring on them, Gilbert's breath against his skin, all the ways their bodies touched.

And then he felt Gilbert grab his length, and at first he thought he was going to get another hand job, but the other arched against him and rubbed their erections together and holy _shit,_ it felt good. A surprised whine escaped his throat and he pressed his whole body against Gilbert's to to touch more of him and to encourage him to be rougher or faster or _anything._

“Ah... Oh, God...” He pressed his face against Gilbert's shoulder to hide from the water that was still pouring on them. His body was burning with lust, and he wanted to pant and groan and yell against the other, but their location made it bothersome. Water kept getting into his mouth, and if he didn't want to inhale it by accident, he either had to swallow it or spit it out, and neither was particularly appetizing. But they couldn't turn the shower off either because then they would have both frozen.

Gilbert was having the same problem, and he copied Lovino's solution by pressing his mouth against his neck and suckling on his skin until it hurt, but Lovino didn't mind as long as his hands were tugging and poking at his length and pressing it against his own until he didn't know where in that pool of warm pleasure his dick ended and Gilbert's began, and normally that would have probably crept him out, but right now it was fantastic, and he had to tilt his hips just a little more and –

Slip!

He didn't have time to yell out when his foot suddenly slipped on the wet floor and he lost his balance. Panicking, he tried to grab anything for support so that he wouldn't crack his skull on the wall or crash through the glass door. His hand found something solid and held onto it, which stopped the immediate disaster. 

Unfortunately, that something turned out to be the tap, and his grip twisted it all the way to the right. The water turned icy cold within a second, and then they were both screaming at the top of their lungs.

“Fuck! Turn it back!”

“You turn it! Hurry! Idiot!” He didn't have the leverage to even stand up again and had no choice but to slide to the floor in an awkward position, fighting against the urge to scream louder and trash at the freezing water – why the hell was it even possible to get such cold water out of a shower; who the hell needed it? – with his knees bent in an uncomfortable way due to the lack of space.

Gilbert turned off the water and helped him back on his feet. Then he turned the water back on, and for the next few moments, they huddled under the warm stream, all thoughts of sex forgotten.

“That was your fault,” Lovino said once his skin no longer felt like it was peeling off.

“You're the one who slipped!”

“Only because... I mean, it's still your fault!”

“Just admit that I'm so sexy that your knees gave in!”

“Bullshit.” Lovino pushed open the door and stepped out of the cubicle. He grabbed a towel from the shelf and wrapped it around himself, then tossed one at Gilbert. “Dry yourself up. I'm done with shower sex.”

“What about the tub?”

“No. I've had it with your stupid ideas. We'd probably drown.”

Gilbert was in the process of drying his hair and stopped, peering at him from under the towel with a dismayed face. “What, was that it for today?”

“I'm going to make coffee. Maybe I'll let you make this up to me later,” Lovino said with a huff. The shock of the cold water had done a good job getting rid of his erection, and at the moment all he wanted was caffeine or he'd snap and murder someone. The only person available was Gilbert, and he didn't really want to show up in the headlines as a crazy prostitute killer.

“Then I won't bother putting clothes on. You won't be able to resist me for long.”

“Just don't sit on my chairs with your bare ass.”

Lovino was picky about coffee, so he bought beans in a special store in order to get his fix strong enough and to make the taste almost like home. Once he had it on the stove, he draped the towel over his shoulders to keep warm and took a seat at the kitchen table to wait.

“I'll have a beer instead,” Gilbert announced and took one of his bottles from the fridge.

“Be my guest. It's yours. And when you leave, take all of it with you.”

“Is being grumpy your default mood? Lighten up a little! You're going to have my awesome body to yourself for rest of the evening. What could be better?”

“We could be in Italy right now.”

“Move back if you don't like it here.”

The coffee was done, so Lovino went to pour himself a cup. “Yeah, right. Like it's that easy. When you find me a job there that'll pay so much that I can afford to live on my own and eat every day, we'll talk.”

“Fine, fair enough. But look how well off you're here! You've got this nice place and all. And I guess your job is at least related to your degree somehow. Look at me. Do you think I went to school to do this?”

“Don't ask me to be grateful when it's this stupid country's politics that caused some of our problems in the first place,” Lovino muttered. But he didn't want to start a debate, so before Gilbert could say anything, he continued, “But yeah, I guess not many people have yours as their dream job.”

“Well, it's not the kind of job I ever imagined I'd have, but it's pretty fun and –”

“Okay, stop. I really don't want to know.”

“What do you mean?”

“Don't talk to me about your damn job! It's... It makes me uncomfortable!”

“Why? Do you think you're better than me because you have a fancy office job?”

“No!” Lovino forced himself to look Gilbert in the eyes even though the anger in them made him want to dive under the table. “I just don't want to make this too personal. I already know more about you than I ever expected.” And he didn't want to know how Gilbert had got into this business. If there was a tragic backstory there, he might have to start feeling guilty about enjoying the sex so much.

The tension melted away from Gilbert's shoulders. “Yeah, okay. I guess I agree. This is just sex, right?”

“Yeah,” Lovino said with relief. That was it. There was no need to make things more complicated. All he wanted was some stress relief and fun. 

He was glad when Gilbert decided to turn their words into action and leaned over the table to kiss him, and even though he smelled and tasted of beer, Lovino didn't really care.

“Not here,” he said in-between their kisses. “It's cold. Bedroom.”

Gilbert moaned his agreement into his mouth, and they raced to the bedroom where Gilbert tore the bedding away and threw it to the floor. They climbed under the covers and continued with the kisses, tracing each other's bodies with their hands in an attempt to warm up. Lovino let out an undignified yelp when Gilbert's toes touched his leg, and he would have kicked him out of bed for having such ungodly cold feet had it not made most kinds of sex a little difficult.

It was an unspoken agreement between them that the covers stayed where they were, so there was much fumbling and groping and sticking their hands in the wrong places as they tried to discover what felt good. Then, Gilbert pushed his head under the covers and began to travel down Lovino's chest and stomach with sloppy, wet kisses that should have disgusted him, but all he did was pound the other's covered shoulders with his fists to make him hurry lower.

His hips jerked when the warm mouth reached his length and licked it, experimentally at first as Gilbert made himself familiar with him in the dark. His tongue got bolder, and Lovino dug his heels into the mattress in an attempt to stay still, releasing short, pleased sounds at every wet stroke against his skin.

And then Gilbert stopped and crawled to the side until he could poke his head out from under the covers.

“Why did you stop, dammit?”

“It's too hot. I can't breathe down there.”

Lovino kicked at the covers until he got them off and they joined the bedding on the floor. He didn't need to tell Gilbert to continue where he had left off; the other had already rolled to his side and was reaching for him all on his own.

“You've got a pretty big bed for someone who lives alone,” he remarked.

“I need a lot of space when I sleep and – ah! Yes, yes, there!” He was about to struggle into a sitting position so that he could push Gilbert's head down because whatever it was he had just done was fantastic, but it was right then that the other opened his mouth and took him in. Lovino let out incoherent syllables of words as Gilbert closed his lips tightly around him and began to move up and down as much as he could without choking.

It took all his self-control not to buck into that hot mouth, but he didn't want this to end in a puddle of vomit, so he clutched at the sheets and expressed his pleasure through his voice. The sensations grew more intense with every suck and flick of the tongue until he could no longer bear it and came with a muffled cry, left panting for breath.

Gilbert's grinning face entered his line of vision. His lips were red and swollen and beautiful, and Lovino felt a fleeting sense of affection at the fact that there was someone in the world who could look so happy about making him feel good.

“Hehe, I bet that was the best you've ever got.”

“Far from it, but I guess I can't expect wonders in this country.”

“Hey, not fair! Can't even a mind-blowing orgasm dull your thorns a little?”

Lovino didn't answer. Instead, he gestured for Gilbert to bend lower and kissed him, numbing his thoughts with the warm friction and the taste of himself so that he could momentarily forget that Gilbert wasn't his.

“Now it's your turn. I'll show you what a good blow job is.”

Gilbert turned on his back with enthusiasm and crossed his hands behind his head. “ Let's see you try! And finish it this time. None of that bullshit from last week.”

***

The following morning, Lovino slowly became aware of his surroundings. His stretched under the covers and turned to his left to get some more sleep, only to realise that the spot by his side was empty. He fumbled around for a moment before sitting up and looking around with bleary eyes.

Right. Of course Gilbert wouldn't still be there. It was morning. Lovino fell on his back and tried to decide whether he wanted to get back to sleep or go get a cup of coffee.

He couldn't remember when Gilbert had left. After finishing their first round of sex, they had taken a break and watched soaps on TV with Gilbert constantly commenting on what was going on and explaining every idiom and difficult word because he thought Lovino didn't get them – and he didn't, but having that pointed out constantly had got old fast. He had decided that the only way to shut Gilbert up was to make him do something else with his mouth, and then they had ended up having sex on the couch.

Lovino had been too tired to protest when Gilbert had followed him to bed afterwards and snuggled against him. Maybe he had even liked it, even if he knew it was dumb and that he shouldn't get too comfortable with him. He should just think of it was an extension of his services and not read anything personal in it – even if a part of him was hoping that Gilbert didn't do the same for all of his customers.

The call of coffee won the battle inside his head, so he kicked the covers off his legs and started to head towards the kitchen. However, as soon as he had pushed bedroom door open, he realised that his apartment wasn't as empty as he had thought.

Cheerful humming was coming from his kitchen. Gilbert was there, dressed in his boxers and a T-shirt and making sandwiches. He had coffee brewing on the stove, and even though Lovino was sure he hadn't made it right, it wasn't enough to ruin the sudden sense of fondness that took over him.

He hadn't even realised how much he had missed walking into the kitchen in the morning and not finding it empty and cold. Three generations of his family lived together back home, so their kitchen was always filled with the scent of bread, spices and vegetables and their heated words as they talked, argued and laughed together. His kitchen in Frankfurt was dead by comparison, and he no longer even bothered to leave the radio on since it was such a poor substitute.

“You're still here,” he said as he slid to one of the chairs.

“You sound surprised. Did you think I'd just ditch you? Besides, breakfast the morning after is almost as good as the main course. I'd never skip it, even if your fridge is totally lacking.”

“Lacking? What do you mean?”

Gilbert picked up one of the sandwiches and tossed it on the table before Lovino's eyes.

“Look at this! Why don't you have any good sausage slices or marmalade? What do you eat in the morning?”

“Coffee is enough until lunchtime.”

“No, it's not!” Gilbert took a seat opposite to him and began to eat the sandwich. “Some day, I'm taking you grocery shopping and filling your fridge with good stuff. Then I can make you a proper breakfast.”

“What are you, my mother?”

“I'm just trying to keep you fit and full of energy so that you won't run out of steam when we have sex. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.”

Gilbert poured them both a cup of coffee. Just as Lovino had guessed, it wasn't strong enough to his liking, but he drank it with minimal complaints. Having someone to talk to in the morning was so much of a luxury that he didn't want to ruin it.

“By the way, I took the second bag of trash out while you were still asleep.”

“You did?” Fuck. Lovino had been hoping he'd have time to fish Feliciano's stupid present out of the bag unnoticed and hide it in the cupboard again. It was a useless piece of junk, but that didn't mean he wanted to get rid of it. He just hadn't had the guts to admit that to Gilbert earlier after he had ranted about how much he hated the thing.

“Yeah, aren't I productive? You should thank me!”

“Mmh.”

Gilbert looked so happy with himself that Lovino decided not to raise hell or sulk. Maybe after Gilbert had left, he'd dig around in the trash and see if he could get the damn thing back.

“You look a bit down. Is something wrong?”

“No.”

“Aww, but you look like it.” Gilbert began to poke him in the arm, the grin on his face never fading. “And I think I know why.”

“I told you there's nothing wrong, dumbass.”

“I don't believe you. My awesome people reading skills tell me that you're missing –” At this, Gilbert reached to get something from under the table and placed Feliciano's hideous tomato on it. “– this!”

“What the hell?”

“I saved it for you! It's too cute to be thrown away. Look at its face and how happy it is to still be in your kitchen. You should start using it.”

“It's a dumb piece of shit!” Lovino snatched the tomato from Gilbert's hands and placed it on the counter so that the other would stop playing with it.

“But I bet you're glad to have it back!”

“Why did you even save it?”

“Because I knew you didn't really want to get rid of it. I've kept all the birthday presents Ludi ever gave me over the years, and I'd hate to lose them.”

“Just because you're totally obsessed with your little brother doesn't mean I am!”

“Does that mean I can take the little guy home? Ludi likes to bake cakes. He could use it.”

“No,” Lovino said at once. “It's Italian design, and I'm not letting it be involved in making German cakes. That would be crueller than throwing it away.”

“Ludi's cakes are the best! You should come over some time and try them!”

“Don't you think it would be a little awkward to introduce me to your brother?”

Gilbert's grin turned sheepish. “Right. Haha. I guess so. Since we're just having sex and all.”

“Yeah. But thanks for fishing it out of the trash, I guess. Feliciano would cry like a baby if he knew that thing got thrown away, and then he'd be twice as annoying.”

“But he's not even here, so –”

“He'd find out somehow! Just drop it!”

“Sheesh, fine. I'm just joking anyway. Don't take everything so seriously.”

“I wouldn't have to if you weren't so annoying.”

“But it's fun to annoy you. You always fall for it.”

“Fuck you.”

“See?”

Gilbert left about an hour later, saying he had two customers to see in the afternoon but that he was free on Sunday if Lovino wanted to see him again. Lovino agreed, embarrassed by how he didn't even hesitate.

And it wasn't just Sunday. Gilbert showed up on Tuesday and Wednesday as well, both times uninvited, but Lovino didn't mention it, even if it was rather bad customer service. They didn't have sex on Wednesday because they were both tired, but Gilbert brought food, so they ate and bickered over which channel to watch on TV. On Friday, Gilbert arrived earlier and was able to drag Lovino out of his apartment for coffee and a walk in the near-by park. It wasn't as awkward as Lovino had first feared, and he figured that Gilbert probably offered escort services as well.

They didn't speak much about work. Gilbert tried to talk about his day sometimes, but Lovino always interrupted him and changed the topic. He kept telling himself it was because he didn't want to hear such dirty details about someone else's life, but in reality he simply didn't like to be reminded of the fact that he wasn't the only one Gilbert was seeing.

Gilbert took up the habit of cleaning in his apartment every time he was there, and Lovino let him. It wasn't the kind of kinky roleplay he had wanted in the beginning, but now he enjoyed the domestic atmosphere and watching Gilbert do something absolutely normal, as if they were a real couple.

It was two weeks later that the first problem appeared. Gilbert called him on Thursday evening to let him know that he'd be unable to show up the following day.

“I got a really important customer, and he absolutely wants me to be there tomorrow,” he said.

“What about me?”

“I'll come on Saturday, okay? This guy pays really well, so I've got to take this. I'll make it up to you, I promise!”

“Sure, whatever.” Lovino did his best to sound like he didn't care. And he _shouldn't_ care. What had he been expecting? That Gilbert would choose him over money? That all the great times they'd had were something more than a job to him? 

God, he was an idiot.

“Listen, I've got to go. Uh... have fun at the job,” he said and ended the call before Gilbert could get another word in.

Lovino felt like kicking himself as he collapsed on his couch and stared at the ceiling. Gilbert would be coming on Saturday, and he still felt like his weekend was ruined. He would have liked to think it was just because he had to wait one more day for the sex. Now that he had been getting it regularly for two weeks, he didn't know how he had managed so long without.

But he knew that wasn't the reason. The real reason was that he was no longer okay with sharing.

When Lovino had been twelve, his grandfather had taken him to a walk through their wine fields and explained everything about sex to him. It had probably had the opposite effect his grandfather had hoped because it had just made the whole thing seem so complicated and alien to him that he had needed a long time to muster up the courage to try anything. He was pretty sure Feliciano had lost his virginity first, and that was fucking embarrassing.

The point was, in the midst of the humiliating memories and denial, there was one piece of advice his grandfather had been very adamant about. It was okay to have fun with prostitutes, but one should never develop feelings for them. It never ended well, and Lovino had the feeling he was about to become an expert in that category.


	5. Chapter 5

The sound of the door opening and closing was a sign that Ludwig had come home. Gilbert was lying on the couch and lifted himself up to a sitting position as his brother entered the living room.

“Hey! How was work?”

“The same as always.”

“Ugh, boring.”

“I like it when it's the same. That means everything is running according to plan.” Ludwig placed his suitcase on the floor and glanced meaningfully at his watch. “I thought this was the time when you usually go see Lovino.”

“Not today. I've got work in about an hour, so I'm seeing him tomorrow. Oh, and I made food. It's still probably warm.”

Gilbert followed Ludwig into the kitchen, crossing his hands behind his head and letting his bare feet make loud flapping sounds on the floor. He watched his brother fill his plate and sit down to eat.

“You're going to starve when I'm no longer here to cook for you,” Gilbert said.

“Have you been looking at apartments?”

“No, not yet, but it's only a matter of time when I move out.”

“It won't be a problem. I was doing fine by myself before you moved in.”

“Yeah, but now that you're used to my great food and having something warm waiting for you when you come home, it's going to be real tough to get back into form. I think I had better make it a slow start so it doesn't get too overwhelming for you.”

Ludwig looked up from his mashed potatoes. “What do you mean?”

“I was thinking that I could start spending a little more time at Lovino's place. And maybe take some of my stuff there, like my toothbrush so that you'll get used to not seeing it every morning.”

“You're moving in with him? After just three weeks?”

“No! No way! Haha, it's nothing like that! I just have the feeling that I wouldn't mind if this became something more than screwing. He probably doesn't even realise it's possible to improve even further from the amazing sex I've shown him, but I know a few things that would make the whole thing even better.” Gilbert hopped to sit on the kitchen counter and swung his legs back and forth. “Like, he clearly needs someone who'll keep his bathtub clean and is willing to rub his feet when he comes back from work.”

“You make yourself sound a little too perfect.”

“I am perfect! You just don't know because you've never dated me. And it's not like I don't expect anything in return. His cooking is to die for, and I guess that if I had an Italian boyfriend, it would automatically lead to amazing Mediterranean holidays at his family's place and having sex under an olive tree.”

“That's – You're being ridiculous.”

Gilbert laughed. “I know. I can't help it. I'm having too much fun.”

“And do you think he wants to make it just as serious as you?”

“Of course! Why wouldn't he?”

But truth to be told, he wasn't quite sure what was going on inside Lovino's head. They had a great time whenever they were together, but he had the feeling that something was holding Lovino back, like there was some kind of invisible barrier between them. He'd done his best to break it by being as awesome, fun and inviting as he could, and sometimes he was sure it worked. But then Lovino would stop what he was doing just for a moment, or the rare smile on his face would vanish. Gilbert had no idea what was bothering him, but he was dying to find out and fix it.

“Tomorrow I've got to do something super special. You should have heard him when I called to say that I can't make it until tomorrow. The poor guy was totally heart-broken!”

“Hmm.”

“What? You don't believe me? You know what? Next week, I'm bringing him here so that you can get to know each other. Then you'll see how hard he has fallen for me and can stop doubting me.”

“I'm not doubting you,” Ludwig said. “But I think you're maybe throwing yourself a little too extensively into this. What if he doesn't want to move forwards? You've told me enough times that your agreement was to have fun with no strings attached. I don't want you to be disappointed if he still sees it that way.”

“Aww, it's cute that you're worried, but you don't have to. I'm a big guy. I can take care of myself.”

Ludwig frowned, looking like he had more to say. But as usual, when it came to topics like this, he stayed silent, and Gilbert didn't really feel like discussing his relationship any further either. Casual chatting was okay, but if they kept this up, it would eventually become a _real_ conversation, and he didn't want to talk about his feelings seriously.

“I guess I should get my stuff together and go clean that guy's place. His daughter got engaged out of nowhere, so he needs the whole house spotless tomorrow for the celebration,” he said and hopped off the counter. “I don't know when I'll be back, but don't drink all the beer.”

Humming to himself, he went to collect his supplies, head full of great ideas for making Lovino extra happy the following day.

***

Shit, shit, shit. Maybe he should end the whole thing? Wouldn't that be the only fair course of action?

Lovino kept playing with the teaspoon in his cup of coffee, his thoughts going in circles. He had promised himself he'd reach some decision before Gilbert arrived, but so far he was still stuck right where he had started.

He couldn't keep seeing Gilbert like this. It wasn't enough anymore. He wanted all of him so that he wouldn't have to stay awake at night and wonder if Gilbert was with someone else, if he told the same jokes to everyone and tickled their feet with his toes when they were lying in bed.

Gilbert sucked at his job, he thought in frustration. He was just supposed to show up at his place, fuck him and leave. Why the hell did he have to be so funny and so stupidly cute and affectionate that he couldn't help but like him? The whole mess was his fault!

He should find a better prostitute. He couldn't hire Gilbert anymore when being with him was starting to hurt so much. And it wasn't fair to Gilbert, either. He was just trying to do his job. He didn't deserve to deal with a pitiful wreck of a client who couldn't be professional with him.

But no matter how much this made sense, he hated the thought of going through with it. He wanted to be with Gilbert. At this point, it was too early for him to say he was in love with him, but he had reached the level of infatuation where he wanted to know more about him and spend as much time with him as he could. It would take only a small push for it to become more, and that frightened him just as much as the idea of never seeing Gilbert again.

“Fuck this!” he snarled and threw the teaspoon into the sink. Gilbert was supposed to be there in ten minutes, and he still had no idea what to do.

He had made some preparations. Every room in his apartment was as clean as he could make them. He had taken out the trash. The laundry was done. It was much more effort than he normally put into taking care of his place, but this time he didn't want to see Gilbert do any of that. Maybe it would be easier to talk to him if he didn't have to see him pull any of his domestic stunts and make stupid comments about his clothes as he was sorting them.

The buzzer forced him back from his thoughts, and he realised that Gilbert had arrived. He went to press the button that would open the front door to him and began to wait in the hall, still not sure what he was going to say, if anything.

“Hey!” Gilbert said as soon as he made it inside. “I'm here! I bet you missed me!”

“Yeah, just as much as I missed the stench of beer all over my bedroom.”

“That was an accident, and I washed everything! I even apologized!” Gilbert crossed the distance between them, caught Lovino's cheeks between his hands and squeezed them. “I bet you're just grumpy because I couldn't be here yesterday and you had to wait.”

“Go to hell,” Lovino muttered. It was partly true, of course, and that's why it stung so much.

Gilbert let go of his face once he realised that something was off about his surroundings. “Hey, look at this! You've been cleaning! Did you want to impress me, or am I this big of an influence on you?”

“Can you stop that?” Lovino asked and took a step back.

“Stop what?”

“Acting like that! Like everything's fine and normal.”

“You've got to be kidding me. Are you really that upset by yesterday? I had to work!”

“I know, dammit! And I'm not upset!”

“You sure sound like it!”

“Not because you had to work! I get that. It's just that –” Lovino stopped to ran his hands through his hair and swore in muttered Italian. “God, I'm pathetic.”

“I have no idea what's going on here,” Gilbert said. “You should sit down and get your thoughts together while I make us coffee.”

“No!”

“No?”

“I don't want your coffee! It tastes like piss!”

“Then what –”

It wasn't the right thing to do, Lovino knew, but he couldn't help himself. He pulled Gilbert against himself and kissed him, thinking that if he was going to lose him tonight, he had to have him just one more time. It was only fair – to them both. Gilbert had reserved this evening for him, and he shouldn't cancel on such a short notice.

“So, it was just grumpiness for having to wait after all?” Gilbert asked, suppressed laughter in his voice. Lovino didn't bother to argue but kissed him again, on the brink of desperation to touch as much of him as possible so that he wouldn't have to think.

If Gilbert was surprised, he didn't show it. He responded to Lovino's advances just as eagerly, his hands travelling all over Lovino's body

“Where do you want to go?” he asked.

“Doesn't matter. Anywhere.”

“And what do you want to do? It's your call.”

“I want you to stop talking!”

Gilbert chuckled into their next kiss, and Lovino almost wished he wouldn't because he'd grown to like that sound.

The couch was the closest flat surface that was comfortable, so they stumbled there, opening buttons and zippers in the process and almost falling over when Lovino pulled Gilbert's jeans down to his knees.

“I don't think you were this eager even the first time,” Gilbert said. “Does one day's wait really make this much a difference?”

“I thought I told you to shut up.”

“Oh, so you want to order me around? Sorry, but I don't listen that easily every time. You have to make me.”

And Lovino did. He was usually content with letting Gilbert lead and just complained loudly when things weren't going like he wanted, but this time he put more force into his touches, was louder than usual and pawed at Gilbert so clumsily that he would have normally considered it bad sex. Gilbert must have noticed his impatience and didn't even suggest anal sex, and that was fine with Lovino. He didn't want to waste time on making it feel good; he wanted Gilbert _now._

He wasn't sure where that desperation came from. Maybe he wanted Gilbert to remember this no matter how many other clients he'd have in the future, or maybe to numb all of his own thoughts and emotions so that telling him not to come back would be easier. But it was so difficult when Gilbert kept muttering stupid things into his ear and laughing at his own bad jokes, and maybe it was _that_ that Lovino wanted to stop so that there'd be nothing but the physical need left.

Afterwards, they were lying on the couch, sweaty and tired and sore. It was quickly getting chilly, so Lovino fumbled for the blanket he kept on the couch and tossed it over their frames.

“That was a little different,” Gilbert said. “I'm pretty sure you gave me a few nice bruises.”

“Sorry.”

“It's okay. I like it rough sometimes. But wow, what got into you today?”

“Don't talk, dammit. Just be still for a while.”

But they couldn't keep lying on the couch forever. Gilbert soon began to complain that there wasn't enough space and that his foot was falling asleep, so he slipped from under the blanket and began to look for his boxers on the floor. Lovino wanted to call him back because if he left, it would be all over, but he couldn't come up with a good excuse.

Maybe it was just as well, he thought as he followed Gilbert's example. He had left enough money in the kitchen to cover Gilbert's efforts and even included a big tip. He flipped through the notes one more time to make sure it was all there and returned to the living room where Gilbert had just turned on the TV and was flipping through sports channels.

He shoved the money in front of Gilbert's face.

“Here.”

“What?”

“Payment for today. And listen, I think it's the best if –”

“What payment? I didn't clean anything today.” Gilbert had found a channel that was showing football, so he wasn't even looking to Lovino as he spoke.

Lovino snorted and rolled his eyes. “Real funny, dumbass. Like it's the cleaning I pay you for.”

Now Gilbert turned to look at him.

“What?”

“Ha, you should see yourself in the mirror. I've never seen such a stupid look on your face.” Lovino tossed the money on the couch by Gilbert's side. “Just take it. We should be even now.”

“Lovino, what the fuck are you talking about?”

“The sex! Here's the money for the sex!” Based on the baffled look on Gilbert's face, they still weren't on the same page, so Lovino continued, “Did all the blood stay in your dick so that you can't think anymore? You're a prostitute and had sex with me, so here's the payment!”

“What... Lovino, what...? I'm not a prostitute!”

“What are you talking about? Of course you are! That's why Antonio gave me your number!”

“Did Antonio say I'm a prostitute?”

“No, but –”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Gilbert stood up and threw the remote control to the floor, sending the batteries flying. “I'm not a prostitute!”

“Yes, you are!”

Sudden anger replaced the confusion on Gilbert's face and twisted his features. “Wait. You mean that this whole time, you thought you were _buying_ sex from me?”

“Yeah, because I thought... What? You really aren't a prostitute?”

Gilbert began to collect his clothes from the floor and threw them on, not caring that he put his T-shirt on the wrong way and that he couldn't find the left sock. His fury was clear in the harsh and uncoordinated movements of his hands, the way his teeth were clenched and the audible breathing. Lovino watched him and didn't know what to do.

“I'm giving all the money back. Just you wait. There's going to be a check in your mailbox tomorrow,” Gilbert announced on his way to the door. He marched outside and slammed it shut behind him so hard that Lovino was surprised the hinges didn't come off.

Gilbert wasn't a prostitute? But... how could...?

Fifteen seconds after Gilbert had left, Lovino realised something important. If Gilbert wasn't a prostitute, that meant he had kept coming back because he wanted to.

Fuck.

He ran to the door and wrenched it open. 

“Bastard, wait!”

The elevator was in use, so Lovino began to run down the stairs. He had to reach Gilbert before he left the building. He had to talk to him _now._

Gilbert was just about to step out the front door when Lovino found him. 

“Stop right there! Don't go!”

Maybe he was only imagining it, but he look Gilbert threw into his direction wasn't as full of anger as back in his apartment. He reminded Lovino of a puppy that had been left in the rain.

“What the fuck do you want?” Gilbert asked.

“Come back inside. Let's talk.”

“What's there to talk about? I think I know pretty well what just happened here.”

“No, you dumbass! You got it all wrong!”

Gilbert laughed, a sharp sound like scraping a fork again a plate. “That's pretty great coming from you of all people.”

“I can explain everything! Just come back, dammit.”

“Why? I'm a real tough guy, but even I've got my limits and –” Gilbert's voice cracked, and he turned to look up at the ceiling, blinking. “Fuck.”

“I'm sorry. I'm a total idiot. I didn't want to hurt you. Just come on, let me fix this.”

“How? The whole time, you thought I was a prostitute!”

“I know! And it was totally killing me! But I don't want to talk about it here, so let's go!”

Gilbert gave him an unimpressed look, and at first Lovino thought he wasn't buying his words. Then he realised that he hadn't put anything on when he had left the apartment and was standing there in nothing but his boxers. He had to look ridiculous, and even though there were far more important matters to worry about, he could still feel heat rise to his cheeks.

“Please?” he added, most of his steam spent. He had no idea what to do if Gilbert said no. They had to clear this now, or it would never be the same again.

Gilbert sighed and threw up his hands. “Fine, but you're going to have to make it really good, okay?”

They climbed up the stairs to the floor where Lovino lived and found themselves facing a locked door. Lovino slammed his fists against it. 

“Fuck! I left the keys inside!”

Gilbert refused to let him use his cell phone, so Lovino had to swallow his embarrassment and knock on his neighbour's door and ask for their phone so that he could call the janitor. The disapproving glares he received from the couple next door made him grit his teeth, and Gilbert's spiteful chuckling didn't help.

“You deserve this. I hope they'll never say good day to you again.”

“They never did in the first place. The stuck-up assholes don't like having an Italian neighbour.” 

“Maybe I'll tell them you're the type of guy who hires prostitutes and see how much more hostile they can get.”

Lovino wanted to say something, but he couldn't force the words out. He crossed his arms on his chest and leaned back as they waited for the janitor to arrive and unlock the door. Neither spoke. After a while, the coolness of the wall began to seep into his back, and he straightened his form and rubbed his arms.

There was a sigh from his side, and Gilbert took off his jacket and tossed it to him.

“I'm so cool that I won't let even a jerk like you freeze,” he said in response to Lovino's questioning look.

Lovino pulled the jacket over his shoulders and huffed. “I'm glad you aren't a prostitute.”

“Oh, yeah? Why? Did you realise you could try to get me into your bed without payment?”

“No! Are you really that dumb? Okay, so I just wanted some sex at first, but... But you totally ruined it and made it complicated! I don't know how you did it and corrupted my superior Italian sensibilities, but I want you all for myself, and not just because the sex is great.”

“Then you should have just said that!”

“But I thought you were a prostitute and that I couldn't have you!”

Gilbert pursed his lips annoyance. “How the hell did you ever get that idea in the first place? I mean, sure, I'm so hot that anyone would be ready to pay to get me, but what the fuck? I run a cleaning service! Why did you think I cleaned your place every time?”

“I don't know! You're German! I thought it's necessary foreplay for you people before you can get it up or something! And it's all Antonio's fault anyway! He knew I was looking for a prostitute, and he gave me your number and said you're good.”

“No way. He'd never do that, not even as a prank.”

“Ask him!”

“You bet I will!”

Another angry silence fell between them. Lovino searched his mind for something to say, something that would make Gilbert calm down so that he'd listen. But he didn't know how to explain himself better. How had a misunderstanding of this magnitude even happened? Why hadn't they noticed anything earlier?

“Look, I'm sorry,” he muttered. “Go ahead and hate me. But I never thought you were cheap or dirty or anything like that.”

“That's not the problem. I mean, it's not my number one career choice or anything, but I have nothing against prostitutes. But, you know...” Gilbert shifted his weight from one foot to another. “I was king of getting into this, and I thought you were, too. But then you tell me you were only buying my body, and that's something that can make even the best guys feel down for a while.”

Lovino could only stare at him. Was it even possible for two such stupid people to exist in one place? He always told everyone Feliciano was the dumbass of the family, but clearly his own idiocy had simply been lying dormant until now. And Gilbert was just as bad.

“Didn't you hear what I just said? I wasn't just buying you! I like you, you fucking idiot! I thought you were the one who was just doing his job!”

“Huh?”

“Yeah! This whole time I though that –”

But Lovino never finished because that was when the janitor finally arrived. He smiled at them in amusement but didn't ask how they had ended up in such a situation. As soon as they were inside the apartment, Lovino slammed the door shut to the poor man's face without saying thank-you.

They remained standing in the hall, neither knowing what to do or say. After a while, Lovino took off Gilbert's jacket and shoved it into his arms.

“Right. I guess I'll go get dressed or something.”

Before he could do more than start to turn around, Gilbert dropped the jacket to the floor and grabbed his shoulders. Lovino wasn't surprised when he kissed him, but he was momentarily so overcome with emotion that he couldn't respond. He hadn't thought this would happen again, that Gilbert would still want to have anything to do with him.

He broke the kiss and pressed his head against Gilbert's chest, clutching at his back to keep him close. “I'm such a goddamn fool. Do you really still want to be with me?”

Gilbert laughed into his hair. “Sure, but this is going to be something we tell to everyone on our anniversary. Every year.”

“If you ever tell anyone, you won't live to see the first anniversary.”

“Give me a break and let me have some fun! You gave my self-esteem a tiny scratch today, so I deserve whatever I want.”

“A tiny scratch? You looked like you were going to bawl your eyes out!”

“Yeah? Well, you were so desperate for me that you forgot both your clothes and your keys when you chased me!”

Lovino tried to come up with a good retort, but Gilbert had a point. His answer was therefore a frustrated growl and pounding against Gilbert's shoulders with his fists to show that he wasn't pleased with the situation.

“Let me go so that I can put some damn clothes on. And then I'm making coffee. And _then_ we're going to talk this through because after what just happened, I'm not letting you out of here until I know every single detail about your life, just to make sure shit like this doesn't happen again.”

“I can make the coffee while you get dressed.”

“I already told you I don't want your coffee. You don't make it strong enough.”

“I'd say you deserve that for this stupid stunt, but I think you've already been punished enough.”

Lovino stopped at the entrance to the living room and turned to look at him. 

“What do you mean?”

“Come on! All this time you thought I was screwing with every random guy who waved money before my nose. Look at me! I'm hot! If I was able to have sex with myself, the mere thought of sharing would drive me insane with jealousy.”

“Ugh, you're unbelievable.”

Later, they cleared the remains of the misunderstanding as best as they could and even called Antonio to get his side of the story. When they finally realised just how everything had happened, all they could do was sit on the couch and let it sink in.

“That was pretty dumb,” Gilbert said.

“Yeah.”

“And now that it's all out in the open, what do you want to do?”

Lovino puffed his cheeks and blew some air out through his nose. “If you aren't totally sick of me after this, I guess we could try again or something. It can't be worse than what already happened.”

“Are you kidding? I already said we can try again! And you know what?” Gilbert gave him a slight shove and guided him down on his back on the couch. He leaned against him between his legs and rested his chin on Lovino's stomach. “This whole time, you thought I didn't give a shit about you, but me? I've been happier than in a long time because I thought we had a relationship going on. I figure it's only fair to let you know how nice that can feel.”

“You sound pretty confident.”

“That's because I'm the best boyfriend anyone could ask for! Your mind is going to be blown away when you realise how awesome this is going to be.”

“Or maybe I'll think the misunderstanding was the better arrangement,” Lovino muttered, but he didn't mean it, and based on the smug grin on Gilbert's face, he knew it, too.


End file.
